Email From My Dad: A New Car

Hi everyone,

Sometimes the universe acts as if it has an independent intelligence. Tonight Phylis and I went to the Borgata for dinner. Over Phylis’ objection, I decided to take my car. She felt that since the wipers didn’t work and it was raining lightly with the forecast calling for heavy rainfall, it made more sense to take her car. I like the comfort of my Lexus, though, and the Borgata is only minutes away.

We arrived unscathed. I dropped her off at the front door and went to park in the surface parking lot. After a successful parking, I opened my door to get out and a hurricane wind blew the door back and off the hinges. It made a horrible noise. The door was absolutely ruined; it would not close. I knew it was the end.

Earlier this week the key had broken off while I was taking it out of the ignition. I ignored this sign of deterioration since we had another key, although it took some time to figure out how to get the broken key out. I could not and cannot ignore this obvious sign. I need a new car.

In any case, I drove the car home, holding the crippled door partially closed against gale force winds (no exaggeration), picked up Phylis’ car and went back to the Borgata. The question of whose car to get rid of is solved. Now all we have to figure out is what new car to get.